Betting the Rainbow (Harmony) Page 7

  He brushed his hands from her shoulders to her elbows. Her skin was warm but she didn’t respond; she only turned to stare out into the water.

  “You’re not in danger here, Ronny.” He wanted to pull her against him, but she seemed rooted in one spot. “Hogs usually run if they see humans.”

  Finally, he rested his hands at her waist, waiting for her to relax or walk away. She felt so good to touch. Almost as if he’d crossed the ropes at an art gallery and was touching a masterpiece.

  To his surprise, she swayed slightly toward him as his hand moved slightly. “You’re in no peril here, lady,” he whispered again.

  “Yes, I am,” she said when she finally turned toward him. “I’m in danger of feeling, and I don’t want to feel anything, not for anyone and not for you.” Her words were no more than a lingering whisper between them. “If I had a gun I wouldn’t have to run to you if I saw a pig. I could survive alone, without feelings, without caring for anyone.”

  What she said almost took him down like a blow to the back of the knees. The honesty frightened him, and he reacted with frustration and anger. “You don’t have to worry, lady, I’m incapable of feeling. I gave it up years ago when I walked out of a fire and left my friends to die.”

  Ronny finally stared at him. “You think you should have saved them?”

  “No.” For the first time he said the words he’d always thought. “I think I should have died with them.”

  He had to get away. He couldn’t answer any more questions. In one fluid movement he jumped from the porch and ran. Maybe away from her. Maybe away from his own reality. He’d just admitted the one reason he couldn’t recover, no matter how hard he worked.

  Deep down he knew he should have died.

  One shy stranger had drawn out of him what no doctor had been able to do.

  The truth.

  Chapter 11

  HAWK HOUSE

  RONNY TOOK THE TRAY OF DIRTY COFFEE CUPS INTO THE house after Austin Hawk simply ran off his own porch and left her there.

  She was numb inside, as if she’d frozen from the core out. She had spent a year feeling sorry for herself because her one true love had died, even thought she was somehow a coward for not dying with him, and now Ronny had met a man who mirrored her pain. Only he’d lost all his friends.

  His depth of grief made her feel shallow. She’d known Marty Winslow was dying when he moved in with her. She had known, but she’d ignored the truth. Marty had given her time to know that he loved her, a long good-bye, but all she saw was that in the end, he’d left her. He’d left behind money for her to travel the world and Mr. Carleon’s promise to watch over her. In a way, even after a year, he was still loving her, but all she’d seen was the grief.

  For the first time since the funeral, she realized what a gift he’d given her and not what he’d taken away.

  After she washed the dishes and put them in an orderly cabinet, Ronny went back to her cabin. She wasn’t sure if the day had become cloudy or if it was only her mood, but she pulled on a dark blue rain jacket and walked down to where she’d tied the boat Mr. Carleon had brought her when he’d arrived with the gun.

  For once, she didn’t want to be alone, and going back to Hawk House didn’t seem an option.

  The old boat was the best Mr. Carleon said he could find on short notice. A blue flat-bottom with a little engine on the back that looked new. Full speed was probably less than ten miles an hour, and it would take a tsunami to flip it over. Mr. Carleon’s one lesson in operating the craft had only taken the few minutes when she’d driven him back across the water to the Delaney dock where he’d left his car.

  The rickety dock in front of her cabin was small, made more for jumping in the water than for mooring boats. Ronny stepped around broken planks and climbed into her boat. With little skill, she started the engine. While the sun blinked between clouds, she puttered slowly back across the lake. At this rate she’d know the Delaneys well, coming to call twice in one day.

  A few minutes later when she docked, she saw Kieran O’Toole walking out of the Delaney barn.

  He knew her just well enough to call her by name. “Would you look at yourself, Ronny Logan. You’re driving a boat, you are.”

  His open smile had always been friendly, even when he was a kid. He used to come into the post office when she was eighteen and had just started working. Whoever was on the front desk would send him back to collect his grandmother’s mail. Though younger, he’d already been taller than Ronny and most grown men in town.

  She’d been so shy she wouldn’t even look at him. He wasn’t much better, but as the weeks of his stay lingered into summer, they’d manage to say a few more words each time.

  She’d been eighteen and he must have been sixteen, because he got his license that summer. Like shy people do, they talked quietly. She’d discovered his keen sense of humor. Over the years that she worked in the back of the post office, she often thought some of what he wrote on the postcards to his grandmother was meant for her.

  Apparently, Kieran remembered her also. He rushed to help her tie up. “Maybe I could drive your boat sometime, Ronny. After all, there’s no right or left side of the road to worry about.”

  She laughed, remembering his near-death tales of learning to drive when every fool in town was on the wrong side of the road. “I’m guessing, Mr. O’Toole, that you’ve solved that problem, since you’re still alive.”

  He winked. “That’s why I took up flying. No roads.”

  “So you’re still a pilot?”

  “Five years professionally. I do mostly international flights out of New York. In truth, crossing the ocean isn’t near as hard as learning to drive that summer. Granny had just acquired her bifocals and she thought a bug on the windshield was an oncoming car. Luckily, we were on a back road, but my ears hurt for days from both our screaming.”

  “I’ve nothing so exciting to report about boating.” Ronny shrugged. “I just learned my way around this little lake an hour ago.”

  Ronny almost said she was proud of him for following his dream. For a kid dragged all over the world, it made sense that he’d be at home no matter where he went. His grandmother used to claim her daughter and the crazy Scot she married were like migrant birds born without a sense of direction.

  “While you’re here, you want to see some little chicks?” Kieran pointed to the barn. “The Delaneys got dozens delivered yesterday. Cutest balls of fuzz you’ve ever seen.”

  Ronny nodded but didn’t take his hand when he offered to help her from the boat.

  Ten minutes later she laughed as she sat surrounded by baby chicks. Dusti Delaney came in and welcomed her as if Ronny were a friend and not just someone she’d seen a few times. The good and bad thing about living in a small town is everyone knows pretty much everyone on sight even if they never talk. Dusti might be a few years younger, but Ronny was sure she’d heard of Dallas Logan. Ronny’s mother was at every town hall meeting, usually causing trouble.

  Thankfully Dusti didn’t mention Dallas or the fact that she’d once cornered the Delaney girls in a store and demanded to know why their eggs weren’t all white.

  Dusti’s one kindness now marked the young farmer as a possible friend, so Ronny offered a true smile to the dark-haired beauty.

  “Kieran came over to teach me to play poker if I’ll feed him breakfast first.” Dusti grinned back. “Want to join us? We’re having omelets, of course, and we’ve got plenty.”

  Ronny was shaking her head as Kieran said, “Of course she will. She’s probably starving.” He winked at Ronny. “Maybe you can stall Dusti a few minutes while I try to remember how to play. It’s been so long since I’ve sat down to a game. I may have forgotten a rule or two.”

  “He’s already bluffing, Ronny. Don’t let his shy ways fool you, the man can charm or lie in several languages.”

  “Ma
ybe it’s lucky I came along to referee you two.” She remembered the terrible coffee she’d tried to drink at Austin’s place. It hadn’t gone down well. Breakfast sounded wonderful. “I’ll referee for the price of an omelet.” She didn’t want to go back across the lake. Not now.

  Within the hour Ronny had become the dealer while Dusti and Kieran played Texas Hold’em. Dusti’s sister circled past now and then but didn’t seem interested. She obviously didn’t believe in Dusti’s crazy plan to learn to play poker well enough to win a tournament where two hundred people had signed up.

  “Half of the entry fee money will go into the library fund,” Dusti explained. “But one lucky player will win the thousand-dollar buy-in to the big-time in Las Vegas, with another thousand going to pay plane tickets and expenses. I’m going to be the one from Harmony.”

  “Sure you are, lass.” Kieran laughed.

  Dusti stuck her tongue out at him, and the big Scot just grinned as if she’d kissed him on the cheek.

  Slowly, Ronny felt the tension of the morning leave her. Dusti assured her the wild hog would be taken care of by a game warden or one of the farmers around them. Kieran even offered to help Austin track the animal.

  The cloudy morning passed in easy laughter. Storm clouds were moving in as Kieran walked her back to her blue boat. Ronny had promised to come again to act as dealer for the pair, and they’d all exchanged cell numbers.

  In an odd way, they all fit together. The easygoing Scot, the outspoken Dusti, and her, the shadow of a person afraid of the world.

  “You going to be all right on the water?” Kieran asked.

  She nodded. “You can watch me cross, and if I flip, you can watch me swim back here or home. Whichever’s closer.”

  “Right. Say hello to Hawk for me if you see him. In my mind we were Tom Sawyer and Huck Finn those wild summers. I’ve tried to keep up with him but haven’t heard much for six months. I thought the army was probably keeping him busy fighting fires or training. Had no idea he was here relaxing.”

  “You two have been friends a long time?”

  “We were summer friends as kids. Two strangers sent to spend the summer in a small town where everyone else already had their full serving of friends. We were close but lost track when he joined the army. Now we touch base on Facebook now and then. I heard he specialized in oil rig fires set by troublemakers all over the world. He told me once, when we were both home a few years ago, that sometimes his team goes in to fight a fire with bullets flying. He said half the time they’re in some country he couldn’t even spell.”

  “What’s happened to him lately?”

  Kieran shook his head. “He didn’t say when I saw him at Buffalo’s, but he was thinner than when I saw him before. Said he was living here for a while. I guess he got out.” Kieran untied the rope. “When we practice poker again, invite him to come if you like.”

  “I don’t know him that well,” she said.

  By the time she crossed the lake, the howling wind was making Ronny nervous. She tied the boat up to one of the dock boards and ran for the house.

  Dusti called her a few hours later to tell her a group of hunters was going after the hogs as soon as the rain stopped, but Ronny’s nerves still hadn’t settled. Rain pounded the cabin, making it seem more like evening than afternoon.

  She hadn’t slept well the night before. Even her nap on the porch wouldn’t work today. She felt a restlessness in her body that she could never remember feeling.

  A little after nightfall, the lights flickered and died, blanketing the cabin in deep shadows. It took her several minutes to locate the lanterns she’d tucked away thinking she’d never need them. Flipping one on, she thanked Mr. Carleon for remembering to put batteries in it.

  The light made her cabin glow in an eerie light, not enough to read by, too much to sleep with.

  Finally, feeling trapped, she decided to step out on the porch and see if the lights were out at the Delaney place also. Every night the glow of their barn light was like a setting moon across the lake. It offered her comfort but no company.

  She wrapped herself in the blanket that covered the back of the cabin’s old couch and opened the door.

  Two steps out, her feet sloshed in water. If she didn’t know better she’d swear it was raining sideways, coming straight off the lake.

  The rain was too hard for her to see her shoreline, much less across the lake. She stood, letting the cold water brush over her toes while she decided this was what lonely really felt like. Maybe if she hadn’t spent the afternoon laughing? Maybe if she had something to keep her busy? Maybe if she’d stop running and start living, then she’d care about something or someone again?

  Her heart seemed colder than her feet. Blinking, she couldn’t tell if her face was wet with rain or if she was crying.

  Staring into the night, she tried to will the Delaney barn light to shine.

  As she turned to go back inside, she saw the silhouette of a man leaning against the cabin at the far corner of the porch. He was sheltered from a direct downpour, but wind rattled his thin coat.

  Gulping down a yelp, she squeaked out, “Austin?”

  He straightened, his raincoat hood pulled low like it had been that first time she’d seen him.

  “I didn’t mean to frighten you.” His words were caught in the wind and seemed to circle around her. “I just came over to see if you were here and all right.”

  She glanced out at the storm. “Where else would I be?” This didn’t seem like a good time for a walk.

  “I don’t know,” he shouted, angry as usual. “I saw you motoring off this morning like you thought you knew what you were doing. I didn’t see you come back. About an hour ago, I noticed the storm had washed that blue flatbed boat up on my shore. Hell, if you weren’t here I’d already decided I’d have to go get help to dredge the lake.”

  She tried to see him in the shadows. “You thought I drowned?” She was surprised how much it meant to her that he cared.

  He didn’t answer. He just stood there like a tall lamppost with the light shot out.

  She took another step toward him. “You were worried about me?”

  No answer.

  Ronny moved closer. “You thought I needed help?” The man was not only bad tempered and moody, now he was going deaf. “You really thought I might have drowned in the lake?”

  He swore. “Of course I thought you drowned. What else would I think? It never occurred to me that you’d not be smart enough to pull the boat to shore and tie it to a tree. Hell, that dock of yours is little better than driftwood. I’m surprised you don’t fall through one of those broken boards and dunk yourself every time you walk out on that platform.”

  She was a foot away and could see his irate features. Calm, she thought of him as handsome. Mad, he was downright frightening.

  One step closer for a better look. She’d expected to see anger in his eyes. It shocked her to see fear. He’d been truly worried about her, afraid for her!

  “I know people die, Austin, but you don’t have to worry about me.” Ronny wasn’t sure why she yelled those words at him. Maybe it was the storm, or maybe it was because she was being yelled at. She lowered her voice. “But I’m still alive—and I’m not going to bother you again, so you don’t have to run away when you see me. You keep to your side of the willows and I’ll keep to mine. From now on just consider me your out-of-sight neighbor and don’t bother waving when you happen to not see me.”

  “I wasn’t running from you before.” He had lowered his voice too. “I was running from me. But that never works.”

  Ronny lifted her hand to cup his unshaven face. She knew him so well, this man she didn’t know at all. She understood him. Somehow, as different as they were, they’d walked the same path.

  His gaze bore into her. “I didn’t want anything to happen to you, Ronny. It may not
sound like it, but I like having you here.”

  She was so close she could feel his words on her cold, damp face.

  “Do me a favor, Ronny.” His request sounded more like an order. “Don’t go out in that damn blue boat when a storm’s coming in.”

  “All right, but you have to promise to stop yelling at me.”

  “I’ll try”—the hint of a smile lifted his lips—“but I was born yelling and never bothered to stop. In my line of work it was a necessary skill.”

  He took a step toward her. “And before you go on about it, I’m glad you didn’t drown in the lake. I don’t think I would have been happy about that.”

  “Are you ever happy, Austin?” She somehow doubted it.

  “Stop asking questions.”

  An order again, she thought, but he was now so near she had other things on her mind besides asking questions.

  She wasn’t sure which one of them closed the distance between them, but in a heartbeat she was being crushed against the hard, wet wall of his chest.

  For a moment he just held her as if needing to know she was solid. Real. Alive. Then his mouth lowered to hers.

  His kiss was wild, nothing like the long slow one they’d shared in the water. She was lost to all else. A tidal wave of feelings surrounded her. There was no time to think, only to react. She tugged his raincoat open, wanting to feel the warmth of this cold man against her heart.

  He dug his hands into her hair and kissed her as if it were the last kiss he was allowed for this lifetime.

  She melted into him, loving that someone, if only for a moment, might need her so dearly. Maybe it was the storm, or the night, but she didn’t want to let go.

  Without breaking the kiss, he lifted her up and moved inside, bumping the lantern she still carried hard against the side of the cabin door as he stepped out of the rain and into the shadows of her place.